Toxic fumes and sweet little lies

THERE are fisherman tales where catches are over exaggerated, but what about fisherman deceptions?

When I was working as journalist in Sydney’s western suburbs, I was told a story firsthand about a group of mates who went to great lengths to fool their partners.

The men wanted to holiday for a few days in Bali ... without their wives.

Nothing good happens when the vacationers are five middle aged men who need to deceive their wives so they can holiday together.

I was interviewing a man who lived near the banks of the Georges River.

We were talking about the recently developed M5 tunnel, a four kilometre long underground tunnel that allows for quicker access to the international airport.

There was an air vent that purged exhaust fumes a good 20 kilometres from the source.

That is what the interview was about but gossip about his mates was a lot more interesting.

“Do you want to know something about that bit of shore right there?” he asked me.

“The cleared area between those trees is where they left,” he said pointing towards a section of riverbank with a path that led to the water’s edge.

“I was invited but I didn’t want to go.”

Go where and do what, I prodded, and the tale was told.

Five of his friends told their wives they were going on a fishing trip and even hired a houseboat.

“We’ll take it along through the river’s tributaries and look for good spots to throw a line in,” the partners were told.

It was circa 2004 and not having a good WiFi signal wasn’t an unreasonable explanation for being uncontactable.

The wives were at the boat’s launch and waved goodbye from the shore.

But this is where the story takes a turn.

The men motored 10 kilometres down the river and docked at a preplanned location and a mooring where it was safe to leave the houseboat unattended for five days.

Fishing rods were left behind and fresh bait was thrown into the water.

A minibus taxi picked them up and took them to Sydney Airport.

Out came the tickets and they boarded a plane headed to Bali.

Five days were spent doing things no married or partnered people should be doing.

When they flew home, they caught a minibus taxi and returned to the houseboat.

You know what happened next, don’t you?

They returned to the same spot they’d left it five days earlier.

On the banks stood their wives and children, all excited to welcome them home and hear all about the ‘fishing trip’.

“They worked on their stories and made sure everyone had the same details,” he said.

This happened two years before I’d heard the tale and he said to date the secret hadn’t been discovered.

Deception is easy if planned well, but for some people, just knowing you’ve fooled somebody you love fills you with anxiety and worry they’ll find out.

My interviewee said that’s why he didn’t want any part of the ruse.

I’ve only wagged school once and that was when I was 17 and in high school.

My boyfriend was 19 and in the South African army doing his mandatory two years basic training.

He had a weekend off and I didn’t want to waste the Friday in the classroom.

My parents dropped me off at school and waved goodbye.

I walked through one gate then out another and into my boyfriend’s car.

We spent most of the day together and at 2.30pm, I returned to school for pick up while pretending I’d spent the day there.

I recall everything so clearly because it was the first and only time I’d wagged school.

My parents never suspected a thing because they trusted me.

Therein lay the problem, I knew I’d broken their trust, but they were oblivious to it.

I never did it again because even if they don’t know, I do.

The fishermen pulled off the perfect ruse, but it wasn’t a victimless crime because they had wives and children at home who loved them.

My interviewee was quiet for a moment, then said, “if you tell the truth, you don’t need a good memory.

“My mates have spent two years stressing about their partners finding out.

“For some, their relationships are already on thin ice, and this would pull their family apart.”

“O, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive”, to quote Sir Walter Scott.

It suggests that one lie leads to others, which eventually becomes difficult to manage like a spiders intricate and confusing web.

Deception creates a complicated and messy situation that is difficult to escape.

The chimney vent puffing tunnel fumes into the atmosphere was representational of how when things happen in the dark, there can be repercussions some distance from the source.

The tunnel and exhaust vent are as toxic as each other despite the distance, just like a lie.